Take My Wife, Please!: Henny Youngman’s Giant Book of Jokes

It was said of the late Henny Yougnman that he could make the Sphinx crack a smile. For seventy years he tossed out one-liners that sent waves of laughter through audiences all over the country; a Henny Youngman nightclub appearance guaranteed a sold-out engagement. A vaudeville headliner, Youngman also went on to conquer radio and television. In Take My Wife, Please! Youngman’s enduring routines are collected in one volume. Arapid-fire comic, he could tell six, seven, sometimes even eight jokes a minute, like: Walked into a store and said, “This is my wife’s birthday. I’d like to buy her a beautiful fountain pen.” The clerk winked at me and said, “A little surprise, huh?” I said, “Yes, she’s expecting a Cadillac.” You meet the craziest people on the subway. One guy sitting next to me kept saying, “Call me a doctor—call me a doctor.” I asked, “What’s the matter, are you sick?” He said, “No, I just graduated from medical school.” Youngman began his career with the intention of becoming a concert violinist. When he discovered that he had a talent for making people laugh, the violin became a prop. He was called the King of the One-Liners for good reason, and this collection shows why.